The Arrival of Gaia
‘Gaia’s Spell’
‘The Arrival Of Gaia’
“Gaia’s Promise’
This should have been such a glorious happy diary entry for me to write, as I have been waiting for the release of these pictures for over 20 months. They mark a point in the series I have yearned to reach and finally share for so long that it has felt like a mountain peak forever in the distance, one so impossibly far away it seemed to move with every step I took towards it. Back in April 2011 I completely underestimated how much work I had ahead of me in order to finish the Wonderland series. At the time I decided to shoot these pictures out of sequence, so I wouldn’t have to wait a further 12 months for the yellow rapeseed to flower. It would be fair to say that never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine it would be almost two years until I finally made them public, and I cannot express enough how grateful I am to my wonderful model Marianna for being so unbelievably patient. It was a ridiculous amount of time to wait, but equally I was in an impossible situation, as all the pictures have a specific order and these simply had to wait their turn. So for months as I have inched towards this goal, slowly ticking off the completion of each new picture. I had even romanticised about all the things I was going to do when I reached this point. How I was going to stop working all weekend, learn to cook, and generally be kinder to myself and not work so hard, all because I thought I would finally be on the home stretch to finishing the series….
However today is not glorious, and to be honest I’ve been crying for hours. It sounds so stupid and I wonder if I should even admit it, but I’ve always been brutally honest in this diary so why stop now. The truth is two days ago I lost someone so precious to me it hurts to even type these words. I say ‘someone’ because I refuse to call him a pet, and I can already imagine a few of you are rolling your eyes right now, but It’s how I feel and so it’s what I will write.
You see after I lost my mother I adopted a truly magical little boy called Georgie, who was a stray from the cat shelter. He saved me from completely falling apart, and became my lucky little talisman throughout all the years I have worked on Wonderland. Many of you will recognise him from the behind the scenes photos, as he was always lying on the costumes and props and has been my constant throughout everything. He lay next to me at night while I edited the pictures and kept me company in the garden when I painted my props during the summers that have passed. On Saturday he became critically ill with a rare blood disease and after hours of fighting for his life at the vets we lost him, he was only 6. I guess I wanted to write this because this diary entry wont be the usual lyrical description of my working process, and reasoning behind the pictures. I’m just too sad. Typically, he is in a quite a few of my behind the scenes photos and sitting here looking at them right now I just feel numb.
So please forgive me as I go into a slightly robotic account of how these pictures came to be. I’m tired and my eyes hurt, and I just want to finally get these pictures out and into the open for you to enjoy, and for me to feel I’ve reached my little mountain top. I love the pictures and I am so proud of them. Second to ‘The Queen’s Armada’ these are the biggest undertaking I have ever attempted and the first time I have had so many assistants and such a huge responsibility to get what I needed in a short space of time.
So this is how it all came to be….
Part 1 ‘The making’
The frustrating part about this diary entry is that after spending two days searching all my hard drives and back-ups I cannot find all the photos I took of us making the giant yellow boat, or all the stages of me making the enormous headdress. I have some behind the scenes pictures, but nothing that truly shows the enormous amount of work and mess we went through in my back-garden ‘workshop’. I am however relieved I have this one photo of my friend Mark, who saved me when it came to making the boat. Without him, everything would have been a disaster, and I am so grateful to him for all his help. We’d known each other for a good few years but Mark had never helped me with Wonderland before, and I think we both had so much fun creating this piece it will remain a happy time for both of us. Sometimes stepping out of real life to make something ridiculous can be the best medicine, and I think Mark felt exactly the same as me about this prop. Escaping into your childhood and building a giant yellow ship in your back garden can be a tonic like no other and even now writing this, despite how sad I am, there is a smile creeping across my lips because I have such fondness for the week we spent preparing for the shoot.
.Our galleon started life as an old fibre glass rowing boat that had been abandoned in a fishing lake near my house. After getting permission to take it away from the fishing club, we brought it home and cleaned it out in my garden. It was absolutely filthy and in a terrible condition. The first stage was for my husband Matt and Mark to build a wooden frame inside the boat to stabilize it and allow us to construct the masts. The entire outside of the boat – all the plank details and front bow are actually made from painted cardboard. I had a wonderful assistant Hannah Coates who came and worked with me for the entire week before the shoot, and the pair of us spent our days painting endless cardboard planks, while Mark bolted them onto the boat. The effect was so convincing we were all ecstatic with the results and in the final days two more assistants joined us and Adam made the crows nest, whilst Rosie helped me and Hannah frantically sew the sails.
The second biggest undertaking for the shoot was the dress. I had always wanted to bring back the silhouette of The Lavender Princess’s dress into the series as a familiar signature of my work, but this time I wanted to make it even bigger. When I designed the original dress it had been partly made by myself and a factory who are very special friends of mine in China called Affirm Heart. I had worked with Affirm Heart for over a decade as a designer, and they are like family to me. They have always been so excited and supportive of Wonderland, that when I asked if they could help me re-create the original dress in super-size proportions they agreed immediately. It was made entirely from silk and took 20 workers almost a month to make. It was an epic undertaking, and was so big that during the shoot the model had to stand on a table wearing an enormous hooped under cage to hold out the shape.
Finally, the other huge costume piece was the headdress. It took me 2 months to make and was so much work I can’t even begin to explain. I made the entire design myself apart from the crocheted flowers and hearts who were made by a kind lady called Nora Taylor who has been crocheting for over 54 years. I commissioned her to make all the flowers as well as the scull cap, which I then wove yellow painted plaits of hair through to create the base. It was an epic undertaking which constantly evolved, becoming more and more elaborate as I went along. I was inspired by statues of Inca Sun Goddesses, and wanted to create an extraordinary piece that would would symbolise the arrival of summer. I even went as far as to make the tiny model boat by hand and then decorated it with old Indian jewelry that I enameled yellow to match the props and costume.
Nora crocheting the flowers
Shoot day
The location was one I really had to fight for as the farmer understandably took a great deal of persuading. I wasn’t allowed to shoot the boat in the actual flowers which had been my original plan, but because of this I ended up discovering an ancient oak tree in the corner of one of the fields which made a far more romantic English setting instead. Looking back at the finished photos it is hard to believe this place was real. I had waited a year for the flowers to bloom and witnessing its colour radiate in the sunlight that day, topped off with its distant lollipop trees, reminded me again why I work the way I do. Nature will always be the greatest gift, and trying to document all these precious moments in our seasons has made me look at the world with fresh eyes. I was reduced to a child again and knew that thanks to my camera I would always remember how it felt to stand there in that sea of yellow under a warm sapphire sky.
Once our boat had arrived on site, it was lowered from the truck with the help of 6 assistants. I will admit it was a little unnerving to see how small it suddenly looked against the huge field. In my garden it had truly felt like a galleon, whereas now it felt more like a giant’s toy. We set about attaching the mast and sails and I laid great wreaths of wild yellow flowers over the sides and around its ropes. I was so proud of how it finally looked, considering it had cost almost nothing to create, it looked utterly magical. Just as we finished the decorations, a breeze picked up from the east filling the limp sails and blew soft cotton clouds over the horizon – for once the weather was on our side and everything looked the best I could have possibly hoped for.
So we began, our model Marianna was dressed and positioned high on her table in her impossible length dress, whilst Adam lit the smoke bomb wired to her tiny model ship. I climbed my step ladder and started taking the first picture ‘Gaia’s Spell’ whilst marveling the whole time at how completely surreal this scene had become. It’s a funny quirk, but I have recently become inseparable from my step ladder and I now rarely shoot from human height. I think it is because I often imagine these scenes like grandiose paintings, so I want to experience them in the same way I dream of them at night, with sweeping camera angles and wide open views – something human height rarely seems to achieve.
Following on from that point I then walked Marianna deep into the flowers to shoot ‘Gaia’s Promise’. It was a relief to be quiet together in an intimate space. I hung further bundles of flowers from a bar held behind her head to block out the sky with as many flowers as possible, creating a wall of gold. We sat together cocooned in colour, as the tall stems gently swayed in the afternoon sun. It was calm and warm exactly as I had intended this moment to be when I imagined Gaia would to whisper her promise to Katie, that a change was coming and she would one day find home again.
The last scene was ‘The Arrival of Gaia’ which was a relief for everyone after all the staged moments of the afternoon. Marianna was positioned resting her back against the tree in the low afternoon sun and it was all was so peaceful. The huge rushes of fabric are completely real and not manipulated in any way, it happened just as we were packing up and one of the cloth trails was caught in the wind. It transformed the entire mood within seconds and so I spent a further 15 minutes shooting whilst everyone threw the fabric up in the air with great whoops and cheers.
So that was our day. I feel so clumsy ending this entry with a blurted out explanation of what the pictures mean, but tonight I just cant find the right words and I hope you can forgive me. As you know for so long Wonderland has been in a heavy emotional darkness, as we have moved through the swamps of ‘The White Queen’, the dark woods of ‘King Gammelyn’, the twisted tree roots of ‘The Ghost Swift’ and ‘The Queen’s Centurion’, to finally pass under the Autumn trees of ‘The Journey Home’ to be faced with Katie’s awakening in ‘Let Your Heart be the Map’. The sudden bright light on her face and the breeze in her hair was to link to the moment she witnesses ‘The Arrival of Gaia’ for the first time. Gaia is the name given to the Greek mother earth, and is a character that will bring change to the entire story, she is guidance and comfort to Katie but also a power to be reckoned with. Like the trails of symbolic red in the previous scenes, Gaia arrives wrapped in yellow a colour that for me has always meant home – both in the story of the Wizard of OZ, but also in my real life childhood growing up in the fields of Kent.
It is now that I will end by explaining I will be gone for some time. My updates will continue, but Wonderland is about to enter its last stage and I have some very big plans. To be honest I have no idea how I am going to achieve what is in my head, but I have to try and I’m prepared to push myself to this final goal post one way or another. I need to retreat, make costumes, build sets and I honestly don’t know how long it will all take. So see this a pause, a last breath, and I hope I will be back with the closing scenes before Autumn is over.
Wow…You’ve really outdone yourself with this one, Kirsty. This is quite something!
Kirsty,
As an animal lover myself, I can tell you I am deeply sorry for your loss – and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I would never say “it’s just a cat”. I know it’s family. I know it’s part of your life. As I type this I have 3 furballs around, the most special one to my left, curled up being adorable, stepping into the keyboard with a foot. She too loves laying on fabrics, and she too took me out of a deep dark place where I was lying still when she came into my house uninvited.
I was standing right where you’re now, having lost a loved pet in a sudden and terrible way… and my Yoko arrived. What I mean is: nobody is going to replace George, but whenever you feel like you can try it again my advice would be to help another one. I know how the house seems so empty when they’re suddendly gone. How at first you don’t feel entirely at home. Yoko… she saved me. I didn’t want to have pets anymore, I was retreating inside my head… and she changed that. These little souls, they are… unique, and they can heal a broken heart better than anything.
I’m a volunteer in an animal association in Spain. We have a special saying for these sad occasions: “We will never lose what we once enjoyed. Everything we deeply love becomes a part or ourselves forever”. I know it’s hard to believe right now, but it does get better, and this saying is like a mantra to me.
At first I was only going to tell you that I loved the pics, that these colors spoke of rebirth more than anything, of promises of better times to come. That the brightness, the composition of it all was amazing. But of course you already know that 🙂
Beautiful images as always and beautiful dedication.
My heart goes out to you. Sometimes we’re made to feel that we can’t show the emotion of losing an animal – but I think the people who have that view never had the pleasure of that special connection. There is no way to explain it or express it. They are worth every tear, and soon it will get better, as you know it will…day by day x
Much love
The things you wrote about your cat actually made me cry and I’m really really sorry for your loss.
However, the pictures are as stunning as always!
Kirsty,
I’m reading at the office and doing everything I can not to bawl at my desk. I’m so so sorry for your loss of Georgie. As an animal lover and previous owner of 5 cats (or as I like to think of them, my anam cara), I can relate.
I loved the saying Cati shared. I do believe that they become part ourselves — not just a part of our experience, but informing our worldview and personal philosophy.
Your pictures are beautiful as always — but more than that, the story behind the entire Wonderland series is amazing. I really do see Katie emerging from the depths of a tumultuous and emotional time into a brighter, hopeful day. It is such a beautiful, universal journey and I want to thank you for giving us such a wonderful narrative.
p/s: I voted for you in each of the categories you were nominated in! YAY!
This is so amazing, I wish to read a illustrated book someday about the wonderland and it’s characters
Words cannot truly how I feel about your collection of photographs. They send me to Wonderland and beyond. I am compeled to feel and experience all the emotions through-out and link them to my own personal life. It is so incredible that you are so open about your work, even more so about your personal life. I too have lost an beautiful family member in the last year; my darling Lucy. She was more than a dog, she was my whole being, and guided me through the rough times right until the very end. Animals are much apart of spiritual beings as we are.
Thanks to your inspiration tales through Wonderland, I will go on to create my own story for my photography work. You have and always will be my ultimate heroine with my creative world.
Best wishes and congratulations on another set of glorious mages x
These are just extraordinary, as has become the standard in Wonderland. I’m always in awe over the patience, care, skill and dedication thrown into each and every image. And I am so sorry the joy of these photos has to be tempered by the loss of Georgie. I know he is with your mom, where they can watch over you together. I completely understand that his loss is not the loss of “a pet.” They transcend that word, becoming our friends and mentors, showing us true love. We are so blessed to have them in our lives, but they go too quickly. I am so sorry for your loss, but I am very glad for the time you had with Georgie.
Kirsty,
I am so sorry to read about Georgie. I have six kitties of my own(I know ,it’s a lot) and I totally understand how sad it is to lose a member of the family suddenly. Mine are all shelter cats,and sometimes you don’t have them for long,but know you made their life better by adopting them and loving them. And you already know your life was better by having Georgie in it.Only time can heal the sadness. I am trying not to cry as I write this( I’m at work), and I’m thinking about my Lucky Cat, who passed last November. Remember all the happy times,and know there are others who share your sadness.
PS- The pictures are just incredible,as always!
Hello Kristy!
I just wanted to send a message, I’ve been following your work for a while now and I think you’re the most inspirational photographer I look at. I love to tell stories with my photography as well, however I’m only a college student and budgets and time are limited. Your work is still amazing.
I just wanted to let you know that I sincerely doubt people are rolling their eyes, and if they are they’ve never had a pet before. I lost my dog a few days ago so I completely know how you feel. I was having a hard time reading about that Georgie without tears. I know it won’t be easy, but at least you have some great pictures of him hanging out with you.
These photos are lovely, and so was Georgie. Good luck <3
-Avenley
Stuningly breathtaking as usual, what a magical talent to have!!! Your so beautiful and your hard work even more so. Very sad about Georgie, i hope your heart does not break for too long and mends peacefully, best regards Kirsty 🙂
Kirsty, I just came across your photography via another page on Facebook. Wow. It is magical.
But what inspires me to write you is this last photo, the one of Georgie. What a beautiful, wise, loving soul looking back at you! I am so sorry for your loss and feel your sorrow. It is so very hard to lose our dear friends, especially when they leave us so unexpectedly. I have had that deeper-than-words connection with precious furred ones, as well. You and Georgie were so privileged to have been in each other’s lives, even though it feels that time was far too brief. Much love to you during this difficult time.
Kirsty –
This is simply amazing. I have watched your work grow and progress through this series and have loved every moment of it.
I lost my best friend in the whole world two years ago – He was with me during the hardest times of my life – divorce, death, sadness, depression. He was also there during the best times of my life and loving me regardless of how busy I got or how often I had to be away.
I won’t tell you it gets easier – because that’s a lie – life does move on, the sun comes up if we want it to or not – new memories are made but nothing will replace the time spent with someone so special to your heart. That is what will get you through this moment – he will always be in your heart and no one and no illness can take that away from you. Ever.
Peace be with you my creative friend – I am positive you will find a way to honor him in your own way that will make you feel like he is close and still with you. I personally can’t wait to see what you do. He has a home in the Wonderland series – Where is it? Does Katie find it? Is it a small detail in a larger image that is only for him and you? Where you can go and be with him always? I hope so. I’ll look for it.
AJM
I’m a complete newcomer to this project; much as I tread warily around F-Book, occasionally it turns up serendipity-trumps and a friend found your gallery and recommended it as a collection that I should see. Correct on two counts: one, this is the kind of commitment to and realisation of a personal vision that draws me to Sean Tan’s books, Cormac McCarthy’s novels, Peter Greenaway movies and Quay Bros. animations; two, who could overlook the fastidious craftsmanship you and your collaborators have marshalled and sustained over these years?
Clearly it’s now redundant to wish you Good Luck, though I’d be really curious to see what the BBC’s ‘What Do Artists Do All Day?’ crew would make of your working day.
That is so touching about Georgie, this photo is touching! I have two cats that have been in my life since I was seven and have been there when times have been low and they pick you up with their curiosity and affection with no judgement, and now i’m twenty they both have played a part in my life deeply, and luckily still do : )
what a cutie <3 so sorry for your loss. I've lost a couple of my kitties recently over the year and my dog also. It was an awful experience, like losing a best friend really. Hope the void you feel will soon be filled with love and comfort.